Hesitating to start a note (especially after a break) can be debilitating. The choking feeling leads to frustration and leads into a vicious circle. Practice the following exercise slowly, calmly and patiently:
Download the Anti Hesitation, or Fluid Beginnings Exercise
While doing the exercise, keep in mind the Atomic Habits of Good Technique. Above all, find inner calm. Use the STOP mnemonic - Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed. Hesitation is a habit and it will take mindful, diligent practice to get rid of it.
And remember: you are not alone struggling with this issue. Many great players have had this issue and overcame it.